Lovesick
by Fuckingdefy
Summary: In the real world, no princesses, Rosie must over come the cruelty of the world and let herself love who she wants to. Rosie/Carter Demi/Selena
1. The sick lover enters

**So this is my first fan fiction, and of course I don't own Rosie/Carter or PPP (princess protection program) And yes this is femslash, don't like? don't read! Review please?**

* * *

**Enter the love sick puppy.**

Their words are like a whip to me; beating me down as the lowlifes they think I am. They say I'm a disgrace, a disgrace to the world, to their god. Their love has boundaries, but not mine. Love is a bond forever; it tangles a red ribbon of fate around people, pulling them into a courtship that will never end. They want to tell me who to love, tell me that I can choose, when it's clear to me that I can't. It's not my fault that my heart beats faster when _she's _around me,rather than any boy I've fake dated. It's a cover up story, it always is. I **have** to pretend that I like it when a guy compliments me; I** have** to blush when they say something sweet. Yet I can do neither when it's a girl. I hate knowing that I'll be judged, I hate knowing that, in their eyes, I'll never amount to anything because of who I want to be. I have to hide my attractions for them, because I could never live if I see the hatred in my mother's eyes would be directed towards me. I could never live with the guilt that I knew would be there if I broke my family apart. I would rather live through the pain then make myself happy and everyone else angry/hurt.

So, as I wipe away the tears in my eyes and take a deep breath to swallow the sob in my throat, I get up and prepare for the day. In only a matter of minutes I am down the stairs, grabbing some toast instead of the gourmet breakfast my mother has made me. "Rosie, you ok? Usually you swoon when you smell my food, yet you're eating toast?" I shrug my shoulders, un-sure how to really answer such a question, yet an idea pops into my head at the last minute.

"Nerves mom, it's the first day of school again." The answer seems to shut her up for a while, yet as she starts to clean up the un-touched food, her grumbles reach my ears. I sigh. She always had a way of making me more nervous, not only was I lying to her, which if I lied about anything else she figured it out eventually, but I was also becoming distant. It was getting harder and harder to keep up my fake life for her and the world, and I was so scared that I might falter sooner or later. That I'd soon get eyes of hatred casted towards me rather than understanding and loving gazes that I so needed.

A car horn alerted my senses, my chin lifting up to let my brown eyes cast over the clock before a lopsided smile took a hold my lips. "See ya mom." I mumbled, disappearing out of the house faster before she could even wave with my back pack slung over my back. I let my feet shuffle quickly towards the familiar SUV, a true wide smile plastered on my face. Getting in the passenger seat, I turn to look at my beautiful best friend Carter. Yes she was the tomboy of the school, yet she was the beautiful kind. Her hair was pulled into a sloppy pony tail, yet the brown locks were straightened against their wills, with a ratty red hat covering them, the dull color giving her hair a nice shine. She wore a tight fitting white shirt, power rangers bursting out in the middle, caught in a uprising of fist, stating that justice was about to be brought. Then, tight black skinny jeans hugged her legs, giving the longer limbs the perfect look that any guy, or girl, would swoon over. She sat there like an important judge, holding onto the steering wheel like it was giving her power. Only this summer had she gotten her new car, and she was so proud that her strict mother finally trusted her. She smiled softly at me, her brown eyes colliding with mine, and my smile faltered for a moment. She was the one who made me realize who I really am, who makes me scared to be true to myself. She was the one who made me fall in love with a forbidden lust, I needed her, yet she would never know. I would never ruin our friendship because I was head over heels for her, no I'd suffer rather than die completely inside because of it.

"Hey Rosie, you look good today, excited for school?" Her concerned smile made me flush lightly, she knew I was hurting myself because of some hurtful reason, yet she never pushed the subject. But even so, my hand slowly went to my arm, rubbing the sore area before sighing and looking out the window.

"So do you Carter, and yes, I'm excited." I hated feeling like she was watching every move I made, trying to stop me from doing the exact thing she totally hated. She hated that I hurt myself, yet she hated even more that I wouldn't tell her, but of course I wouldn't be able to. Because then that'd break one of my rules that I set for myself. Here they are:

_Never admit I'm gay, no matter what.__Never make awkward scenes between me and Carter.__Fake date.__Never tell Carter.__Try and act ok. _

So there they are, the five major rules that I must follow or else.

"Me too." She stated, thinking I was in a far of land inside my head, yet as the car pulled forward I sighed softly. I could feel her eyes shift over to my body every once and a while, looking over my rather thin form, the way I hugged myself because I was surly not feeling the love. But of course I wasn't feeling the love. This stupid judgmental world was keeping me from doing so, and I would never be ok because the world would never change. I would always feel this way, even if she understood, she would never be able to help me.

Lifting my head, I watch as the car comes to a complete stop a few blocks away from the school, completely confused. Shifting my brown orbs to look at her, the sight nearly rips my heart out of my chest. She looks like she's about to break down. Her hands are shaking as she pulled the key from the ignition, dropping them besides her before her glassy eyes collide with mine. "W-what did I do?" Her stuttered voice slowly makes it way to my ears, taking another minute to be interpreted by my brain. Did she do? What could she possibly mean? Why was she so hurt and where was the person who caused this sudden heart broken Carter so I could beat them up?

"Excuse me?" I shift my body to face her, ready for the water works so I could calm her down. Finally, after she looks like she's fighting with herself to continue, she does.

"What did I do to make you not trust me? Rosie I really want to know why you're doing this to yourself, I want to help, but you won't let me in…what did I do?!" She was in tears now, her head hung from unrightfully shamed, and all I did was stare. I didn't know that I was hurting her like this, nor did I know the affects of hurting myself. She was hurt, like I was, she was feeling the razor against her skin, like I was. "Cart….Carter…" I whispered her name, un-sure if I was really worthy of knowing such a beautiful person like her. I mean look what I was doing to her! Look at the tears flowing down her face, look at her shaken form, racked with sobs and fear. She was afraid that she hurt me, and I was the one hurting her. I quickly un-buckled both of our seat belts, pulling her close to me, practically on top of me. Although, she didn't seem to mind, because the next thing I knew her arms were wrapped around my smaller waist, her head in the crook of my neck, her sobs wracking my body with her's. My heart was beating so fast, yet I didn't want to pull away. I was disobeying rule number two, surly this would create an awkward moment between us, one that would make her start thinking. With one arm wrapped protectively around her waist, the other was running through her brown locks, trying to soothe her.

Finally after what seemed like hours, she was silent, looking as if she were asleep. I smiled at this, not caring that we were late for school, yet I didn't even want to go, so moving my head a little bit for comfort, I let my body become relaxed. Surly we were skipping, but I didn't care, and she didn't seem to either. Yawning lightly, I squeezed her body slightly for warmth and just as a comfort thing, ok that's a lie. Surly this was working towards helping me move along, acting as if I wasn't in love with her. Yet not able to control myself, I kissed the top of her head right before another yawn shook my system, causing my eyes to droop and welcome sleep.

----

Waking up to her was one of my many dreams, yet I could totally tell she was awake and we had moved. Or rather the chair had moved, because now I was lying down, comfortable as ever. I could feel her feet playing with my leg, the sensation totally confusing me, yet turning me on. Why was she still on top of me if she was away, why was she playing with my legs and hair, why was her arms wrapped so tightly around me? Opening my eyes, I yawned once again to get her attention, her brown eyes colliding with mine. I don't know if it was the fear and worry in her eyes or how she un-tangled her arms that made my heart break once again, but it did. Sighing lightly, I moved my arms as well, moving my arms around her shoulders to hug her tightly before she moved to the drivers seat, looking to the clock with a smile.

"I guess school can wait till tomorrow then…" She blushed lightly, running her hands through her hair as my body suddenly seemed cold without her warmth. Lifting up the back of the chair, I blushed with looked to her, yet had other things on my mind besides school.

"What you said before, about doing something wrong?" I paused, making sure I got her attention, receiving a nod to continue, I did. "You didn't do anything Carter. I knew that you knew, but I didn't want to admit it. I hate lying to you, so I'm not going to say some random guy broke my heart or anything like that. But still, Carter I can't tell you, because it will hurt you more than not knowing, and I don't want to do that, plus I'm not able to tell you yet." Silence soon stood around us in the car, making the air seem stuffy and my heart to pound in my ears. It was killing me at how still she was sitting, thinking about what I said, and finally she nodded. "Fine Rosie…but will you be able to tell me one day soon? When everything's not so bad and you…trust me?" She was still on the trust thing, yet it wasn't about any of that, I completely trusted her.

"Carter, you're my best friend in the whole world, I trust you more than my family, more than anyone…Cart…common…" I was pleading now, the tears now threatened to fall from my eyes. Why couldn't she understand, and why was this world making me lie to my best friend?! Why could no one understand that I needed her more than a friend, I just really needed her. Sniffling I rubbed at my eyes while my ears picked up the sound of movement once again. Moving my hands, I looked at her as she leaned over, rubbing her thumb at an escaped tear. "It doesn't feel it." I shook my head, suddenly putting my hands on her shoulders and tightening my hands. My eyes locked with her's, my gaze hazy from tears.

"I completely trust you…what do I need to do to prove it?!"

"Tell me."

"I can't Rosie! It's horrible, I totally can't, anything else? Please…Carter I need you, don't leave me now…"

This seemed to freeze her in place and cause the tears to finally boil over at my statement. It sounded so much realer now that she spoke it. Carter stuttered for words, so un-sure as to what would be horrible and why Rosie was hurting. "No…no, no, no!" She muttered, the word repeated in my ears over and over again.

"Never mind Rosie….I'm sorry…" She suddenly hugged me once again, now comforting me in a tight embrace. For the second time today I realized why I was so completely in love with her. The tenderness, the caring, the understanding, the warmth, it all made me fall in love with her again. Clutching onto her shirt, I cried into her, pulling my sleeve up to expose the heart on it. My emotions were released, and suddenly relief swept onto my system. Pulling away reluctantly, I rubbed at my eyes, laughing humorlessly while looking at the clock. It was only ten, there was still time to go to school, yet neither of us wanted to.

"Rosie, you want to go back home, your mom should be at work already...so you'd be free." I weigh the idea, seriously thinking about it for a moment before scrunching up my nose in distaste as a frown came to my lips in a form of a pout.

"Carter you know how much I hate being there, it's like a prison…can't your big head think of something else?" Like the tears never happened, I pull my happy mask on, teasing her like _normal_. She scoffed at me, swatting my arm before putting a finger to her lips in a thinking manner. God how cute she was too me, it was un-dyingly true that I wasn't able to resist her charm, though I was able to resist acting on it. I would never hurt her like that, no matter how much it hurt me to realize that we'd never be. Shaking my head I tried to ignore the cute little pout taking her lips, knowing I wanted to kiss it away.

"My big head it too worried to think you jerk. Why don't you think of something, oh way I'm sorry little miss tiny brain!!!" Now it's my turn to scoff and slap her, pouting softly. "Aw don't be mean Cartieee!! I might cry and stain your prized power ranger shirt!" This got her to become wide eyed, putting her arms around her waist to protect her shirt.

"Ok ok! I'm sorry! Just think of something!" I smirk softly, shifting in my seat to become more comfortable as I let her think I was thinking. Around her, it was hard to think of anything else besides her un-dyingly cute appearance and voice. Sighing, I rolled my eyes at her wide expectant ones, laughing softly. After all of that, nothing had changed, and after that, she wasn't severely hurt. After all of that, we were still normal. Maybe I could throw those rules out the window and completely tell her what was wrong. Maybe, she would understand.

Or maybe I was trying to believe a fairy tale.

* * *

**So I don't know if I like this or not, it's kinda short as well, but I'll make it longer soon. Review please? Should I keep going?**


	2. I'm sick I know, but how sick?

**So yeah, schools started today....so writing this may become difficult because if I don't keep up my grades, I'll get my love taken away (my laptop) and then no updates for you guys! I know…sad right?! So, homework before updates…please don't get mad at me if it takes a while I'll try my bestest!**

**Thank you all for viewing this and to the people to reviewed it! I love you all and I really appreciate it! It helped me write this one a bit faster, usually it takes me weeks to think of the next chapter, but this also might not be so good, but still…it's needed for my ideas ^^**

**Thankies once again!!!!!! I love you guys!!! Review more!!!**

* * *

**I know I'm sick, but how sick?**

Four days. Four days that I have not been left alone. Four days that Carter has been at my side; making it harder and harder to keep up my fake pretenses. Every day she'd pick me up and not leave my side until her curfew was a few minutes away. Apparently, Carter's dad was either too lenient with the rules, or he simply didn't care because she was surly late every night. She was too busy taking care of me like I was some sick little kid. Well, I was sick, LOVEsick and she was only making more symptoms to come up. Like not being able to sleep because I'm daydreaming that she's hugging me or kissing me. Not being able to eat because everything that wasn't her was bland. Not being able to focus because all my mind wanted was her. She was a drug that I just had a taste of four days ago, yet had to stop cold turkey. She was causing more pain than avoiding it, yet I'd never tell her that. Her smile and normal giddiness was back, she was the old Carter I knew, and I wouldn't make her hurt once again. I was going to suffer through all of this because it made her happy, it made her Carter. So, as my fake smiles continued, my fake mask was glued onto my face, making me the old Rosie, yet on the inside I felt like I was dying. I had to train myself not to look at those lips, I had to train myself not to push forward and just kiss her already.

So, after much pleading on Carters part, we're having one of those old sleep over's that stopped for some reason many years ago. When I was six and she was seven we'd watch movies, make rice Krispies from scratch, have talks about who our future princes would be (hopefully she had forgotten this part) and fall asleep cuddled together. The last part I have missed desperately, and thought about over these four days. After the first day of school incident I haven't been able to think of anything but her arms, or her feet playing with mine. Which, I still have not figured out, nor the strange emotion that was left in her eyes when she moved. But maybe I'm just over thinking things, or maybe I'm overly obsessed over** my** Carter. Yes, I already claimed her, because I know that even if she's with another guy she will call me if a problem comes up. She will call me if she's crying, she will want me to laugh with, and she will want to watch horror movies with **me**.

A strong knock on the front door alerted my ears, pulling my mind out of the thoughts I was totally emerged in. I quickly pulled on my un-heartbroken mask while I bounced down the stairs, giggling loudly so she could hear me. Putting my hand on the cold knob, I opened the door as quickly as I could, flashing a grin to the other. Yet, I completely froze at the sight I saw. Instead of the pajamas that I thought she'd be wearing she was in a gorgeous purple dress, black tights and high heels. As I looked her up and down I could suddenly feel the heat rise up to my cheeks, not caring that she could clearly see it. I was in total aw that she'd be at my door, wearing a dress that caused her skin to look as perfect as porcelain, so much so I just wanted to reach over and let my hands run over her.

Giggling awkwardly, I looked back to her brown eyes, trying to find something in them to tell me what exactly was going on. She shifted on her high heeled feet, smiling softly at me before her beautiful voice played in my ears like a lullaby. "H-hey Rosie…" I was silent and frozen. I couldn't move, couldn't think, and couldn't speak. It was like she was cupid and she suddenly struck me with an arrow, freezing me in love. "Rosie let me in it's freaking freezing out here!" She pouted softly, crossing her arms over her chest as I slowly backed away from the door, letting her into my empty home. Oh my _god_! She was in my house, dressed fantastically, and it was only me and her. She looked at me with the sweetest tilt of her head, the cuteness factor rising.

"Are you just going to stare at me like a dumb fool in silk or can we get on with this night?" I flush lightly, looking down at my pink and green silk pajamas, suddenly feeling under dressed for a stupid sleep over. Looking back up, I tilted my head softly, trying to understand the strange tension coming from her.

"W-well first tell me why you're so dressed up?" The stutter came out angrier than I intended, and I knew I had put her in an awkward place. She seemed to be stalling, trying to find an answer. She didn't seem to like the truth, nor think that I'd like it, so waiting for her response; I fiddled with my pajama shirt. When ever I was nervous or un-sure I had this bad habit of fiddling with my hands or an item of clothing. Carter knew this, and she knew what I was feeling now. A soft huff came from her lips before she finally racked her mind for the most logical thing.

"Well, first of all please don't tell me I'm dressed up, you know it sickens me, and second of all my dad met some new girl and wanted me to be…."

"Dressed up?" I laughed nervously while I avoided her glare. I knew it was playful, yet it kind of hurt to know that she could ever be that angry at me.

"So they dropped me off because they were afraid that we'd take the car out and scope out the town, and your clothes fit me…so I was hoping that my super amazing best friend would let me borrow your clothes?" A pout set itself on her lips, causing my eyes to drift to them, yet using all my training skills; I pulled them away to look around randomly.

Moving forward hesitantly, I put my hands on her arms, faking a smile. "You look nice, but dresses aren't the Carter I know." Nodding, I let my hands linger before pulling them away and walking towards the kitchen. "Go change, and then meet me in the kitchen." I waved my hand softly, pointing to the upstairs before waving a good bye and disappearing into the kitchen.

Hearing the soft pitter patter of feet hit the stairs, I chuckled lightly. She seemed to be feeling better, or more like the Carter I knew. Pulling the box of flour out from the shelf, I walked back to the batter I was making, yet once again something distracting came along. In a pure vision of beauty, Carter stood in the door way. She wore a tight purple tank top with a large peace sign on the front along with small boy shorts, exposing her legs just enough for me to want her much more. Yet, being the klutz I am and having the added distraction, I tripped over the table leg, falling to the ground with a loud thud.

"Rosie?" Came Carters soft voice, making me blush lightly as I pulled the flour box off of my head. Yet, as soon as I did a burst of laughter came from the goddesses' mouth before me as she swatted over me. "Really Rosie, you're a klutz, only you could fall over nothing." I pouted lightly, yet hid the scarlet blush that was rising up the back of my neck as she wiped the flour from my hair. Her brown eyes suddenly locked with mine, our motions freezing as if the gaze took all of our energy.

I could feel my heart beat faster, and I was almost sure she could hear it. The temptation soon became too much and I suddenly found myself inching forward, closer and closer. I was nearly close enough, yet far enough away to be able to pull away and not let her think of anything. Yet, I wasn't the one to pull away. She cracked a smile, her brown eyes twinkling before she stood up and held out a hand for me. Feeling defeated, I lazily took her hand before looking to my side and seeing the little mountain of flour neatly placed. Smirking softly, I yanked on her hand to pull her into the mountain, giggling as she scowled. "What the hell Rosie?!" Her shout made my spine shiver. It was the way her nose wrinkled up lightly and her eyebrows furrowed that got me to smile like an idiot, because she looked absolutely amazing. It didn't matter if she was covered in flour, nor that she was angry, all that matter was that she was the light in my life.

Swallowing down the temptation once again, I giggled softly. "Now I'm not the only one who looks like an idiot." Just barely, I almost thought it was the wind, but I'm so sure that her response was: "You're totally not an idiot." It was a whisper, yet it made my heart flutter like she had shouted to the world that she loved me. Flushing lightly, I mumbled a thanks as I quickly stood up and submersed back into the pizza I was making, trying to avoid the beauty on the floor.

A soft warm breeze touched the back of my neck causing goose bumps to erupt on my skin, making shivers run up and down my spine. Carter, clearly taller than me, wrapped an arm around my waist while she rested her chin on my shoulder, watching me work. "What are you making my flour partner in crime?"

Smirking, I take a hand full of cheese and spread it around on the crust I've made. "Pizza, your fave, then after I was thinking cookies and rice Krispies?" Hearing a soft moan, I felt my eyes widen out of shock as a blush crept up my neck.

"Man you know the best foods for a sleep over, and you know how to make them…." She smiled softly, yet I could see the sadness in it from the sides of my eyes. I could only guess of what she was thinking about, so I quickly turned around in the embrace and held her tightly. "Don't," I murmured, knowing that she hated to show her emotions about her mother like this. "Don't let go…." Many years ago, a month after her mother's death, I gave her a thick rubber band.

"_Here." _

_A sniffle soon came after I held out the box that contained one of the best gifts I could think of for the moment. She gently took it, scowling at herself for letting me see her cry again. Opening the blue box, she looked at the contents before lifting her head and tilting her head lightly at me, only causing a giggle to come from my lips. _

"_What is this for?"_

"_Well, I know that you don't like showing your emotions, so when you feel like crying, hold onto it. Rubber bands aren't ever suppose to break, so they'll hold onto those emotions, and when you finally feel like you can get past this without crying again, cut it." _

_My six year old self smiled like a genius I thought I was, knowing that she'd absolutely love it. And, she did. Her arms quickly wrapped around me, hugging me for the first time. We were always friends, yet we had never gotten over that hump that made us best friends, which my gift finally let her jump. "Oh Rosie!" She whimpered, sounding like she was going to cry once again, yet as one of her arms tightened, I knew she was hold onto that rubber band as if her life depended on it. _

"_I love you Carter."_

"_I love you too, Rosie."_

_She didn't get it, even at six I was completely in love with her._

Smiling sadly at the memory, I felt her nod lightly as her arm tensed up. "You still keep it on you?" I asked almost shocked, pulling away from the hug with wide eyes. Her glassy brown eyes flashed with amusement before she wiped at her eyes and dangled the rubber band in front of me.

"I never take it of Rosie, it's the best gift anyone has ever given me." She smiled softly as her fingers played with it nervously, un-sure if what she did was ok or not.

"Really? Well you do remember what you have to do when your ready right?" She shifted on her feet nervously yet nodded her head slightly, avoiding my eyes.

"It's time Carter…after all of these years…your dad is, like you said he met a girl." I smiled softly, rubbing her shoulder before her arm tightly clenched on the rubber band.

"N-no…" She looked away, the tears in her eyes not being able to be stopped by the stretchy plastic. "I-I can't…" Suddenly a wave of concern and worry came through my system as I grabbed her loose limb, pulling her towards the living room to sit her on the couch. "Carter…something other than your mom is upsetting you…Is it your dad? Me? Ed? Donnie?" I frowned lightly, knowing that most likely it was Donnie, the boy that she was obviously head over heels in love with. (Mental note, find something else to hate Donnie for so I can hate him on the inside and out.) I watched her furrowed brow tighten as she looked to the ground, picking up my habit of playing with her shirt before she answered me in a soft voice.

"I lied."

Raising my eyebrow and tilting my head, I frowned at her statement. She lied? Lied about what? Maybe what she was doing tonight, or maybe something else that could make or break me.

"What?"

"I lied about what I did before here," She paused, taking in a deep breath before taking a glance at me before dropping them back to the ground. "I was on-on a date with Donnie, he fi-finally asked me out…b-but.." She paused, her arms clenching so tight that it looked like her nails would break skin. I quickly un-curled her hands, rubbing the back of them to try and ease the words out of her.

"Go on." I soothed, smiling as if nothing she could say could make me angry.

"Do-Donnie took me out to dinner, so-so I dressed up for him. Everything was nice until the date was over, or so I thought, y-yet he took me to the park," She paused once again, sniffling back the tears from her eyes. I could see where this was going, and I didn't know if I could hear anymore of it, yet I tried to look strong for her.

"H-he…" She didn't want to continue, and I knew it was wrong to push her, yet I felt like she needed help. "Ca-Carter…tell me…now." I was demanding, even a bit of anger showing in my voice. She flinched at the words yet she never let go of my hands.

"Rosie…I don't want to…it'll make it…._real_." She whimpered lightly, causing my heart to slowly shatter. I had ideas of what happened, and I had ideas of how to make this Donnie to pay.

"Did he rape you Carter?!" I growled, my anger being misplaced onto her. Her eyes became wide as she shook her head no, causing a sigh to come from my throat.

"But he tried." I gasped lightly, wrapping my arms around her, yet she didn't cry. She sat there awkwardly in my small arms, un-sure what to do. This girl was always so un-emotional on the outside, yet I always knew that something was wrong with her. I was the one with the x-ray vision, the one who could break down her walls, the one to see the real her. She always showed me what was going on with her, and always knew that she could trust me with her problems. "Oh Carter are you OK?" Sniffling softly, she nodded before pulling out of my arms, putting on a fake smile. I recognized what she was doing; she was doing the exact same thing that I was, making sure that I wouldn't hurt her.

"I-I'm fine…" She shrugged lightly, making me hate the fact that she was putting on a act. "No you aren't Carter….stop the act." As I watched her she suddenly changed her demeanor, becoming very serious as she glared at me.

"Not until you do Rosie." She scowled softly, our heated gazes connecting before I was forced to look away. I was weaker than her; it was hard to even yell at her. Everything Carter did was adorable; everything she did made me fall in love with her more. There was just no way I could ever hold my own in a fight with her, it would just hurt too much.

Looking at the kitchen doorway, I sighed lightly, dropping the conversation as I walked briskly back to the pizza to finish it.

The rest of the night was…awkward. We watched movies in silent, and ate only a little bit of the pizza. Our conversation before really put a damper on the night, yet she still didn't leave me. Maybe she didn't want to, or maybe she was still afraid I would do something that she would hate. Rubbing my sore arms, I flush guiltily as she looks at my arms and scowls. "Rosie you didn't." She growled, her voice now causing me to flinch as she grasped tightly onto my arm. Her nails dug in to my sleeve, yet I didn't wince or flinch. Pain was my game now.

Watching her, I knew by the look in her eyes that guilt was written on my forehead. She quickly pulled my sleeve back, exposing the fresh white bandage. Her eyes scrutinized me as she un-wrapped the gauze, glaring at me as the skin soon started to show.

Gashes lined my arm, new ones lining over old ones, deep ones still seeming to ooze blood. A gasp pulled my eyes from my chopped up arm, lifting it to her eyes that were shedding tears. Once again she was hurting because of me, and she was crying because of me. I haven't seen her cry this much since her mother's death. The tears seemed to have no end as she wrapped my arm back up and looked at me. She didn't move to hug me, she didn't move to rub her tears away, and she just stared at me. Disappointment shined in her eyes and I knew I was either in trouble or something else.

"Rosie…" I felt like a little kid because of the tone in her voice, it was like she was a psychiatrist talking to a five year old who needed to talk about their feelings. She didn't need to know, she didn't need to hurt anymore. Ripping my sleeve back down on my arm, I felt the bottled up emotions flood my system, reaching my eyes in a teary way.

"Don't." I growled, pulling away from my bed to fiddle around with things on my dresser. I was afraid that she'd ask why, I was afraid that she'd tell my mother, I was afraid she'd hate me. Yet then I would be free wouldn't I? If she hated me I could stop feeling like this, if she hated me I wouldn't face temptation each day, if she hated me then maybe I could hate myself enough to…

"Rosie…" Her voice was close again. She had moved from my bed very quietly and was now standing behind me. She turned my body around with a force that I didn't think she'd have and stared at me with hard eyes. Her hand slowly moved to my cheek, wiping away the tears that I didn't know were falling from my eyes. "W-why?" She stuttered out her brown eyes staring into mine so deeply that I felt like she was doing to drill into them. I flinched lightly, pulling away from her hand. It was too hard; everything about this was too hard.

Sniffling, I pulled away to walk to the other side of the room, staring at her as the tears fell. "I can't take it any more! I can't take everything in my life! It all sucks! I-I….I wish I had the guts to kill myself!!" I screamed at her, my brow furrowed in a angry manner as my fist clenched. She seemed taken back by my scream, clearly frightened by the level of my voice and the words I was speaking.

The next thing that happened, however, was the worst thing in my life yet. As my door swung open, my mother stared at me with glassy eyes.

"What?"

"M-mom?" Both me and Carter stared at my mother, her brown locks pulled up into a messy pony tail. I was the exact image that she was at my age, yet I couldn't feel more distant from her in the past few months. Since I was six it hasn't ever hurt this bad, I've never wished so many times to die, nor have I ever let the blade hover over my wrist daring myself just to do it.

My mother quickly ran to me, holding me in her arms while Carter just looked on, her arm seeming to tense up while she held on that old rubber band.

"I-it's ok honey, it's ok…We'll get help…you'll be ok…just calm down..."

I didn't know what to do. For one thing I really didn't want help; I was perfectly fine living like this, yet on the other I knew how this tore the other apart. Looking past my mother, I saw Carter shift her weight before quickly grabbing her dress, and another thing that I couldn't see, before running out the door. My heart suddenly shattered. She was gone; I just pushed her out the door. She was gone from my life, and I doubt she would ever come back.

Suddenly I fell to my knees, sobbing into my mother's shoulder. I was hopeless, I was dead inside.

I wanted to be dead on the outside now, truthfully.

* * *

**Horrible isn't it? Don't hate me for hurting roise, but it was needed for the plot!! I think I might do a Carter point of veiw for this story but I'm unsure.....Tell me what you think of this chapter and about Carter...weeee**


	3. Treatment

Ok readers. I bet you all hate me because I haven't posted in like **forever! **I'm so sorry. But after my second chapter, school started up again with all the drama and everything, giving me no time to write. Also, I think I really didn't have any inspiration for this third chapter, yet something happened this weekend that made me feel a new muse.

Madison Fitzgerald was a class mate of mine, an awesome person. She had the brightest smile and the nicest laugh. She was a great person in a bad situation. Bullying and bad relationships can lead people to the extremes, and sadly she let it. Last Friday, Madi killed herself. It's been an emotional weekend, trying to consol my best friend. Davin watched this **15 **year old grow up, and she was to pieces when she found out. I may not have known Madi very well, but I know that she was a great person. Every night since I've had night mares and every night since it's been about Davin, dreaming that it was her. It's the scariest dreams I've ever had. But, it lead me to this chapter. At first I tried music to soothe me. Didn't work. I tried America's funniest home videos. Didn't work. Then looking at love sick, I finally found something that works and I think I'll continue on with it.

Also, another apology to everyone for this delayed chapter. It was a shitty thing for me to do, but everyone needs a break sometimes right?! Thanks to everyone whose reviewed and added to favorites and other things. You guys are amazing and I look forward to more chapters with you.

Side note, this didn't turn out as morbid as I thought it would….hmm…..THANKS MADI FOR BEING MY MUSE. THIS IS DEDICATED TO YOU MY FRIEND.

**+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+**

**Rosie's POV.**

White halls. White rooms. White coats. White, white, white. It was blinding. Like a never ending snow storm, covering this place in craziness and discomfort. I wasn't like everyone else here; I wasn't some self mutilating person who was sick. I can stop; I've told them I can stop. But every time it's either my mother leaving or they give me a shot to the arm, putting me to sleep. The people in here scare me, one pulls out all the hair on her body, another eats then throws up. A boy in here drinks alcohol, another picks at his skin until it bleeds. I'm not like them, I'm not that bad. I'm scared to leave my room, to interact with them.

But there was another reason not to leave. In my room I could sit there and stare off, thinking about Carter and not look like some mental case. Every time I closed my eyes, she was there, the horror flashing in her eyes from that night. It's been three weeks since I saw her. The doctors think it's a bad idea for me to see any of my friends, let a lone see her. It hurts me more then they will ever know, it hurts me more than seeing her and know that I can't have her. I need her to be around me, I need her hugs; I need her to get me out of here. Even though they give me pills to stop this, even though they put me through programs to stop my cutting, I doubt that I could ever get over it. Carter was/is my everything, and with out her I just can't live. So for me to endure the pain, then it's ok.

If it's for Carter, then everything is ok.

**Carter's POV.**

This place is white, objects blurring into other objects as if it were trying to patch over that void in my heart. I missed my best friend. Even though I only stay here for thirty minutes each day, I don't get to see her at all. Their all idiots. How could being cut off from your friends hurt you? Even if I was to blame it won't help her when she'll be released, she might even relapse. It's not fair. This place is so scary it even makes me have nightmares about Rosie, afraid that she'd be so desperate as to kill herself at midnight. I hate it here, and I could never imagine living her, not even for a day.

Watching Rosie's mom walk towards me, I could see the affects of what her daughter was putting her through. Her smile was forced, yet it never reached her eyes. She walked slower than normal as if she were afraid to walk at a normal speed and still miss all the signs. Her eyes and hair no longer shined when they saw me. Usually I always got praised by her, I think it's because I don't have a mom anymore. Frowning, I watched her intently before she stood in front of me, smiling softly.

"Well after pulling some strings, Carter, I managed to force the doctors to let you see her, but they ask that it be short."

I frown. I don't want any appearance with her to be short, I want to hold her in my arms and tell her everything will be ok, that I still love her no matter what. "How short?"

"Thirty minutes top. Usually I get an hour, but they think that two hours is pushing it and it may upset the other people."

"You me the loony's?"

"Watch it Carter, Rosies' in there."

"Rosie is not crazy or at risk. Well she might be now that she's had to live through this. Mrs. F, Rosie was doing that for a reason, not because she just felt like it. This place might even have made her worse; I mean I would go crazy if I was here for longer than thirty minutes."

Sophia sighed, shaking her head before pointing to the door that held my best friend. Looking at the door, I found my heart race faster in my chest before looking back at Sophia and scoffing.

"See? You know I'm right yet you still won't do anything."

"Not until I see her smile like she use to, not until she laughs like a lullaby. Not until she's my Rosie once again!" Sophia growled frustratedly at me, causing a shiver to run down my spine. In all the years that I had been around the Fioré family Sophia had never, ever, raised her voice at anyone.

Shrinking in my seat, I stared at my mother like figure before nodding softly, a plan starting to form in my head. "So when can I go see her?"

"Now. Just remember to smile and try not to say anything about why she's in there or when she's getting out. Cheery things. Talk about school or something, if you can get her to talk then I'll believe you. " I nodded dumbly, knowing that I would never follow these rules. Rosie is my best friend; if I acted like that she'd see right through me.

Sighing, I stood up from my chair, walking bravely to the room that held my best friend against her will. Smiling softly, I opened the door to expose myself to her, then walking in just to shut the door behind me, wanting total privacy with her.

**Rosie's POV.**

As our scents mixed together in the room, an intoxicating aroma started to form causing my hands to numbly shift to my stomach, wrapping around me as if was holding myself together. I was breaking, slowly but surely she was breaking me. I could hardly stand being in the same room with her, breathing that scent that I knew was me and her mixed. As the air conditioning kicked on, her smell travel towards me, another smell on her that I instantly recognized. Why did she smell like me? I've stuck in this stupid clinic for over three weeks, how could she possibly smell like me?! We haven't touched, haven't breathed. Why?

"Car-carter?" I asked, my own voice sounding foreign to me, as if I was talking in a different language. She stared at me, her soft pink lips opening slightly in a 'o' shape, amazed I finally spoke. At that instant I knew my mother had told her that I was mute, silent for those three weeks because Carter was away from me (No one knew the real reason, however.). Tears broke out of her brown eyes, slowly trailing the forbidden trail down her cheeks, soaking into her shirt.

Now I amazed one. She never cried, _never. _Yet as I looked down at her arm only to find no trace of that old rubber band, I knew why she let those tears escape. She was finally dealing with things, letting out the tears so she could finally move on. I watched her rub her arms, a small trace of guilt touching her brow before she wiped it away and stared at me.

"Rosie…" She murmured the sound rolling off her lips to make a shiver run up and down my spine. "Oh Rosie what have they done to you?" She groaned out, her eyes dashing over my form. I could guess as to what I looked like, but I wouldn't be able to see. The doctors ordered the janitors to take out my mirror, afraid that I'd break a piece off to use on myself. My hair was probably a mess, sticking up in odd places. As I pulled a piece in front of my eyes I frowned slightly. It was also losing color, no more a chocolate brown but a dark and empty blackish brown. Then I looked to my waist, knowing that my ribs were sticking out only slightly, yet not alarmingly.

Shifting my head to look back at her, I found her closer, standing next my bed and staring at me. Carter shifted on the back of her heels, moving her knees in and out before she hesitantly touched my shoulder, the sensation sending the second wave of shivers down my spine. With on mere hand she could send me into a fit of clammy hands and shaky limbs as my heart accelerated to nearly jump out of me. As she looked into my eyes, it seemed like something clicked to her, like she understood something. Removing her hand, Carter watched as I could once again breathe before putting a hand around mine. Another shiver.

As the tears soaked into her cheeks and she watched me intently, I felt a bit of guilt, but also, I felt hopeful. Suddenly she was sitting next to me in my bed, her arm wrapped around my shoulders, hugging me close to her. "Rosie, I want to get you out of here. Your mom said that if she sees you start to smile and laugh like the old times she'll pull you out. Just pretend for a little longer and you'll be out in less than a week. I promise. Please Rosie, I need you more than ever. Can you do it, for me?"

My throat felt as if it were slowly closing shut, blocking off any of my communication skills in a mere instance. Carter totally had me wrapped around her little finger. I merely nodded, a soft smile taking my just to show her I could handle such a mission.

"And you need to speak, to talk, to eat, everything like when you were at home because I know you were pretending then too. But believe me, you get out and…I-I can…I'll do something for you. I just really need my best friend back Rosie, please come back to me."

Once again I nodded before remembering her pretend speech and sighing. "I'm coming back. I can do this." My voice sounded a bit rusty, yet I smiled through the un-comfortableness and sighed. Carter smiled back, her eyes twinkling with certain light that I had a feeling just came on.

"God! It's so good to hear your voice!!!"

-+-+-**ONE WEEK LATER**-+-+-

"Tomorrow is the day Rosie-posy!" My mother giggled, her old nickname ringing in my ears like a taunting voice. I hated when she acted all cheery, yet of course I couldn't show it. No I was happy on the out side, smiling and laughing, just like Carter told me to. Yet, she wasn't here, she hadn't been after that first time. Once the plan was settled, we simply sat there silently, enjoying each other's company and warmth.

"I know mom, I'm really excited. I need to get back to school, get all that make up work done. Oh and homecoming is this week!" My mother's grin became wider. She knew that I loved to dress up and I think that just pushed her over the edge that lead her to believe I needed to come home. Then, just as a knock appeared at my door, I opened it, revealing the doctor who smiled tightly at me.

"So you're leaving us eh?"

"Yup. You've all been very kind and I really feel that I'm better now. Thank you guys for helping me." I made sure to smile extra brightly at the doctor before looking at his hands, one red rose being held in his nimble fingers.

"Well Rosie, someone left this for you. The card isn't signed, but I think this will be great for you to know before you go out into the world." Handing me the rose, I stared at it before tilting my head and bring the card to my face.

'_I love you more than you will ever know.'_

My eyes became wide as I looked over the card, reading and re-reading it intently before searching the card for a name, even though I knew there wouldn't be one. The card was typed, yet I had a small flicker of hope saying that it was Carter, yet I made sure not to jump to conclusions too fast.

Looking to my mom, I held out the card for her too read, a bright smile along with a blush gracing my features.

"Ooo Rosie! Someone likes you!"

"Yeah, I just wish I knew who so I could ask them to homecoming!"

"Aw now wouldn't that be adorable!"

I nodded eagerly before turning to the doctor, a smile on his own face. "Well Rosie, we'll miss you, but not so much that we want you back you hear?"

"Yes sir!"

"You're a good kid Rosie, alright, see ya." The doctor nodded softly before walking out of the room, leaving me with my all too excited mother.

"Oh I can't wait to see the pictures Rosie-posy!" Giggling, I watched my mother run around my room, picking things up before turning to me and wrapping her arms around me. "I'm so glad that you're my daughter again."

"Mom, I always have been, what are you talking about?!"

-+-+-**First day home**-+-+-

We drove up to my house, me in my clothes, us in our car, my stuff in my lap. No more white, no more foreign things, no more scary people. Just normalcy. I'm home again, back to my safe zone, back to where I was loved for me. My mom is acting weird. She keeps asking if I'm ok, if I'll be ok, if I'm scared. And I keep telling her that I'm fine and happy to be coming home.

Walking up the loving sidewalk of our house, I nearly run into it's open arms, missing the castle like windows, my room that's like a princesses hold. I made sure to walk in first, leaving everything besides the rose in the car, ignoring the task of bringing everything in. I loved my house, I loved that there were no screams of pain or anger, I loved that the air wasn't so tight around me, that I was finally free again.

Running around the first floor of my house, I laughed like a child, sliding on the wood floors with my socks before I jogged upstairs.

"Oh loving room here I come!" I shouted to the world, running to my tower like bedroom. It was dark as I opened the door, and when I turned on the lights, an excited scream echoed around me. "CARTER!" I shouted at the top lungs, dashing for the other woman who sat patiently in my bed, waiting for me. Before I knew it I had her pinned against my bed, wrapping my arms around her waist tightly and holding her close to me.

"Ro--…Rosie…can't breath!" She breathed out, making me loosen my grip only slightly. "In four weeks I only got to see you once! It wasn't fair! I'm never letting you out of my sight again!"

"You can quit the act around me Rosie, don't pretend. Besides, it is _I_ who has to keep _you_ in _my_ sights." I pouted softly at this, trying to ignore the pain in my stomach from her sentence.

"But Carter, I really am glad to see you!"

"I know, and I'm glad to see you. But just don't over do it and act like a robot!" I scowled at this, slapping her arm playfully as I pulled away from her body, reaching out for her hand and pulling her to me.

"Right now Carter, I could not be happier. I am back, in a normal home, away from those people who scared the hell out of me and gave me night mares, away from the needles, away from the doctor who thinks he's all that. And I'm here with you. You make everything better, my best friend!"

Carter's eyes grew somber at this, her frown developing on her lips before she shook her head and laughed. "Well anyways," She started, ignoring everything I just said. "You managed to do what I asked. You came back to me. And to keep my end of the promise, I'll do what ever you want, every weekend to make sure you don't hurt yourself again."

I smiled at this, yet hesitated. Anything I wanted? Building up the courage, I let my idea come to head before speaking it clearly. "A kiss."

"A kiss?" She asked with furrowed brows and a confused face.

"Yes, a kiss every weekend."

"Rules?"

"Has to be lips. Has to last more than twenty seconds."

"A kiss?!"

"Yes." Carter shook her head at me, clear confusion still written on her forehead.

"Why?"

"Because you said anything, and I think it's funny."

"Nothing else?"

I hesitated at this before shaking my head, smiling softly.

"Nope. What you think I'm into girls now, Cart? No, I just think it's funny." I lied. I hated lying. Especially to her. But a kiss from Carter would be the most amazing thing in the world.

"Ok then Rosie." From her facial expression I could tell that she saw through my lie, but I ignored it, happy that for once, the cards were falling in my favor.

**+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+**

**R.I.P MADISON FITGERALD.**

So what'd you think of Carter's point of view? Ok? And the kisses? O.o wee can't wait. Love you guys!

Reviews make me giggle. Favorites make me smile. Alerts make me warm inside.

Want to make me happy? The do them! :)

3Robolove!


	4. Perscribed Meds

AWWWWWWW!!! Thank you all for the Reviews and favorites! It makes me so warm in side!!! So, with this chapter I tried third person in the end….I like it some what, but emotions are easier written in first person…Anyways…I'mma send a shout out to one of the reviews I got!!!

Nhie: I just got your review today and I really wanted to finish this chapter after reading it, it made me giggle! Thankies!

So you should all thank Nhie for reviewing and having me finish this today…:)

Anyways…..here you guys go!!!!!

**+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+**

**Chapter 4**

**Perscribed meds**

Carter. That is all that my mind has been able to think of since I left from that prison a week ago. She's flooding my mind, my dreams and when I close my eyes, she's there, smiling brightly. I want to pull her close, to kiss her awaiting neck and know that she'd love it. Yet, I can't because best friends don't do that. But, they do demand kisses, even if it's weird. Right?

Carter, like before I was submitted to the Coo-Coo palace, has yet to leave my side. She's stayed at my house for this week, her dad not even calling. I guess he knew that she was with me because whenever she isn't with him she's either with me or Ed, and she'd never stay with Ed for an entire week. She seems to be closer to me than ever, nearly sitting on my lap every time she enters a room to where I'm sitting. And when I do the same thing, she wraps her arms around my middle, pulling me close before her head rests on my back. She's confusing the hell out of me, but I let her because that's how much I am completely in love with her. I am so wrapped around her little finger that with every touch I could have a heart attack.

Now it's the week end and she's still with me, her arms wrapped around my waist as her favorite movie is playing before our eyes. It's a scary movie, and she knows how much I hate scary movies. Yet every time I tried to jump or I whimpered, she moved her head before pressing it against my back once again, a different position then going back to the original one. "C-carter…." I whimpered again, her head moving to try and soothe me.

"Yes, hon?" As her husky voice and term of endearment touched my ears, I could feel the heat rise up in my face and a certain place else before a shiver ran down my spine. Now it was her voice instead of her fingers.

"I don't like this movie, can we do something else?" I asked, my voice still sounding so innocent and child-like. She tilted her head slightly before un-weaving her arms from around me, a sign to stand up and look at her.

"Like what Rosie-posy?" She smirked at this, knowing that I hated this nickname, yet what she didn't know was that coming from her, I didn't mind.

"I-I don't know…an-ny thing besides this." Damn my stupid embarrassment, she's got my stomach tied into knots and my heart choking me. She's just simply too…too Carter.

A smile came to her lips before she reached over and turned the movie off, a taunting smirk moving her delicate features. "Come." She demanded, treating me like some dog, yet the funny thing was, I followed her command. I would do anything for Carter, even if I had to give up my life to save her's, I'd do it in a heart beat.

Sitting besides her, I glanced at the soft sofa before her eyes collided with mine once again, our silent gazes never breaking.

As we sat, I could feel her warm breath touch the apple of my cheek, causing a warm front to spread through my body. She truly did not know what she was doing to me; every time she smiled, every time her eyebrows arched, every time her fingers would lace through mine as we walked impeccably close, she was slowly making me a melted puddle of love. It was so hard not to stare into those brown eyes, to ignore the way her body ruffled with giggles, she was making it so hard not to just reach over and pull her close so our lips could connect.

"Ok then, the movie is off. Anything else you want to, perhaps, ask of me?" She let her eye lids flutter a bit, making the light catch her eyes in such a way that I never saw before. She smiled, drawing my eyes to those full lips, moist with what ever lip gloss that she figure she would wear that day. Leaning closer, she breathed in my direction, un-aware that the smell of vanilla and mint traveled with it, causing my cheeks to flush. The smell was just so intoxicating, yet as I looked down to her zipped up hoodie, a small smirk replaced my bitter sweet smile. "That's why." I murmured, staring at the shirt that was sticking out from under the zipper.

This snapped the girl out of her 'woo-ing' mode, her eyebrows lifting in a confused way. "That's why what?"

"Why you smelt like me in the clinic. It's because you were wearing my favorite shirt!" She hesitantly looked down, staring at the striped shirt that had a skull in the middle of it. Flushing scarlet, Carter stared at me for a moment before shrugging.

"Yeah so?"

"Yeah, so why did you take it?" I demanded, wanting my hopes to come true. I wish that she'd say she missed me that she needed me around her all the time, yet soon I knew that once again, I believed in fairy tales.

Carter's point of view.

"It was at _my _house, so I put it on today, I don't know what you are on, Rosie, but that's the truth." I lied; of course I had stolen it. I needed Rosie to be around me all the time; I needed her more than I ever did before, yet I was scared to tell her. The kisses that I'm supposed to give every weekend are scary enough.

What if I actually start to like her like that? What if she is doing this just for laughs? What if she _knows_ and is just playing with my emotions?! Zipping up my jacket, I shrugged away from her, turning the t.v. on once again, blood and gore staring back at me. If she didn't want her kiss at the moment then she wouldn't get it.

"Carter…come on…I didn't mean anything by it, I just wanted to know…that's all, honest."

"I know." I stated simply, not wanting my frustrated emotions to boil through my strong blockade.

"Yeah, so why are you acting all….you know, not you."

Rolling my eyes, I shifted to look at her before shrugging and standing up. "I just don't like when you jump to conclusions, is all. You can do some real damage if you do; I mean that's why you did those, right?" I asked, pointing to the scars that covered her arms. She quickly ran her hands up and down the still agitated skin before dropping her head and sighing.

"I did these because I _knew._ I knew Carter."

"Knew what Rosie?" I watched her intently, hoping that the other would finally release some much wanted information. Slowly she let her brown locks shake, telling me that she was done speaking about it. Sighing, I let my shoulders turn slack and like a whipped dog, I returned to her side, sitting rather close this time.

"You need to talk to someone Rosie, and I'm the only one who knows that you're still not 'better'. So talk to me, tell me, I won't get angry or anything." I said softly, letting my husky voice trail towards her before smiling.

"You will get angry, or even disgusted Cart. I refuse to tell you, I'm sorry."

"Is it about me?"

"I'm done talking."

"So it is."

"Shut up Carter. "

"I knew it."

"I said shut up. Don't make me….." Frowning, I tilted my head at her, clearly wondering what in the world she was talking about, yet as I sighed, I knew I was going to have to make her do what ever she didn't want to.

"Fine. Forget the deal, do what ever you want Ro. Let your mother be hurt again, be locked up in that place, do what ever. I can't care anymore, because when I do, I hurt." Her eyes flickered with sadness, before she rubbed her arms and reached out to grasp my hand.

"Don't leave me again."

"I didn't leave, you did. They wouldn't let me in; they refused to let me see you. It's not my fault." I mumbled, squeezing her hand softly before leaning forward and wrapping my arms around her neck. At first I didn't feel it, but soon as those tears began to accumulate on my neck and face, I realized that we were both crying. I haven't cried in so long, yet to be able to let all these emotions out finally felt right.

In this moment we both shared a secret bond, something tying us together. Pulling away as the tears died down, I wiped away those tears on her cheeks. "Car-carter?"

"Yes?"

"Can I…can we…um..." By the way her face rose up with heat I knew exactly what she was talking about and hesitated.

"N-now?" I stuttered, un-sure if I was really read for such a big thing. She nodded silently, her eyes burning into mine with such an angelic want that I too nodded.

"Twenty seconds…." She whispered, her eyes tentatively staring down at my lips, then to my eyes. We shared a gaze for quite a while before I sighed. We were both nervous and that wasn't helping anything.

I didn't know what to do; I mean I've kissed many boys before, but never a girl, and never my best friend. My throat seemed full of sighs today as to I sighed once again before placing my hand on her shoulder and giving her a small smile. "Are you sure you want me to?"

"Yes."

"Can I ask why?"

"No."

"Ok…twenty seconds..."

"Yup."

"O-ok…um…Rosi-" I felt a faint blush coming to my cheeks as she moved closer, her breath tickling my skin. Right then and there I had a choice; follow my heart or my head. One wanted this so much that it hurt, yet the other wanted to pull away and run. As my heart race under my chest, I knew which one would win. Pressing closer, I let her warm lips touch mine.

:01

_Why did I do that?_

:02

_Why did she want this?_

:03

:04

:05

:06

:07

_Why does this feel right?_

:08

:09

:10

_I like this._

:11

:12

:13

:14

:15

:16

_So warm…so passionate._

:17

:18

:19

_I don't want to pull away. _

;20

Rosie's point of view.

Did she just do that? Did she just kiss me? I thought that she'd run away, run forever and never return. But, she pressed forward. I felt her move her lips, I felt the love that I thought wouldn't be there, the passion that I'd never expected to find was there. As I moved my hand to place it on her shoulder, I rubbed the skin that escaped her clothes, loving the warmth.

As she pulled away I could feel my cheeks warm up, knowing that by now they were a scarlet red. As I watched her, I saw her flush with color as well before pressing a finger to her lips, embarrassed. "Car…." I whispered, wanting to know if she was ok. Her wide eyes and stiff body left a crack in my heart, yet I played it cool and waited for her.

"Y-yeah?"

"Are you ok?"

"Y-yeah." She nodded numbly, her fingers twiddling together absentmindedly.

"Are you sure? I mean you don't seem it."

"Y-yeah."

"Is 'yeah' all you are going to say?"

"I-I'm fine Rosie, just give me a moment."

"Ok." I stated simply, sitting back in the couch and sighing. My mind felt fuzzy and I knew my legs would give out if I tried to walk on them right now. My lips burned like fire and I knew that my cheeks were a red hot. I wonder what she's feeling, if she liked it or not. Looking back to my best friend, I found her tilting her head at me before a soft smirk came on to her face.

"Now I know why." I gulped.

"K-know what?"

"Why you demanded a kiss." My eyes went wide and I stared at her a long time before looking away, too afraid of what she'd have to say.

"Wh-what do you mean?"

No one's point of view.

Carter stared at her best friend, a simple smile on her face before she shrugged and turned the television back on, staring at the picture. She wasn't going to ask because she already knew the answer to what ever it was. It was a gift and a curse that they grew up together, knowing everything about their other half. What made them tick, blush, smile, or laugh. The other knew it well, but this new secret was almost the destruction of them, a small little crack that if only was pushed further would break into tiny pieces, so tiny that fixing it wouldn't even be a possibility.

Together they could have the best friendship, or the worst, because their curse/gift separated them from everyone else. Who has a person like that in their life that knows _everything, _everything that was kept secret from the world. They were truly in a one-of-the-kind relationships, one that could never be mirrored or copied. It took years to make and most people don't stick around that long in a friendship. Actions are louder than words. These girls had so much action that people were jealous of them, wanting so bad to be in their little circle, but of course it was only Carter and Rosie, a friendship that was real.

The younger brunette sighed dramatically, knowing that this would arise a smile in her partner in crime. Seeing her do so, Rosie giggled softly before falling back into that comfortable silence, their friend ship back on track and steam rolling through. Only a soft gargle interrupted their moment, Carter's cheeks heating up with small embarrassment before her friend took her hand and pulled her towards the kitchen.

"I forgot," Rosie murmured, her husky voice echoing around the silent house as she walked through the halls, the interior of the massive kitchen expanding before them. "Food is a must for you, or have you changed since I haven't been around to cook for you?"

"Oh on the contrary," Carter said, her voice in a matter-of-factly tone. "I came over and your mother cooked for me, not like you, but still satisfying." They shared a fit of giggles before Carter pulled out a stool at the little island in the middle of the kitchen and Rosie moved around the kitchen, trying to figure out what to cook for the other.

"Hey Cart, I have a choice for you. Something with pickles, or a pizza with different toppings?"

"Why can't we have pickles on a pizza?"

"Ah, I see. Very well then, as you command." Carter raised her eyebrow at this, the action hidden from the other before a soft, innocent smile settled on her features.

"So if I commanded anything, would you do it?" Her taunting voice made Rosie lift her head, the innocence in her eyes making Carter laugh once again before watching.

"I-I…." Rosie took a calming breath, trying to get the weird embarrassment to go down before speaking again. "What kind of command?"

After this the girls went around, commanding the other to do silly things while Rosie made the pizza from scratch. On one account, Carter told Rosie to breathe in flour from her nose, the action making the innocent girl look like a crack head with teary eyes. Getting the other back, Carter was commanded to squirt mustard down her nose. They kept going back and forth, the commands getting more and more heated.

Now, with stinging noses and teary eyes, both girls sat in their bras and panties, doing what ever the other asked before putting the pizza in the oven. Rosie looked to her best friend, her smooth tan skin just begging to be touched, yet she declined. This night was for their friendship, the odd kiss far off and forgotten as they went about doing their normal things. Leaning across the island, Rosie met the other in the middle for a heated staring contest, Rosie coming out to be the winner of the game.

Carter of course pouted before a small smirk came to her lips. She jumped down from her stool, walking to the other side and standing rather closely to the other, her warmth just bouncing off her skin. She could tell the other's heart was beating fast, that warmth touched her all over despite the cool air that shifted through the house. All was for Carter. Rosie's red cheeks, lusty eyes, pouty lips that extended just a little as if they were silently pleading for the comfort of Carters lips once again.

"Would you…." She drawled out, her words too drunk with love and lust to be put together properly. She didn't understand her sudden feelings for her bestie, yet she let her heart lead her, doing as she was commanded just like their game. "Like a prize…..for your…..win?" Carter smiled ever so sweetly, taking a step closer once again; the space between their bodies's being eliminated.

Carter's tan skin pressed against Rosie's pale tone, the contrast bouncing drastically, yet neither recognized it. Their brown eyes were too busy looking into each other's, trying desperately to find answers in them, yet both were heavily guarded. They needed to be, yet once again, a crack would form if it became more.

Rosie let out a breath of warm air, the action telling Carter that she was holding it. It smelt divine; the smell almost intoxicating to her, like alcohol did on a man. They were perfect for each other, always thinking that they were one, and when separate they were missing a half.

Nodding slowly, Rosie's cheeks heated up, the warmth even reaching out to touch Carter. Slowly the older teen let her fingers rest on Rosie's hips, taking a rather slow path up the side of her body, moving across her bra strap and towards her lips, outlining them before putting her hand back where it belonged; the younger girl's hip.

Even though silence was engulfing them, words were sent between the two. They've learned to speak without words, to have their own language. Long conversations being held in only a matter of seconds, speaking to them words of encouragement.

Although Rosie was strong enough to ignore them, Carter did not share the same fate. Slowly she leaned in, the distance not too far, and pressed her lips against Rosie's sweetly. The taste once again sent fireworks sparking in their minds, perfection flashing in their hearts. Rosie was made for Carter and Carter was made for Rosie. They needed each other to be more than best friends, because they both slowly were dying inside without having more.

Suddenly Carter pulled away completely, stepping a few paces away from Rosie, her breath shaky. "Ro-….Rosie..I-I…" Carter fumbled over her words, wanting to take it back yet she knew that Rosie would be broken hearted. Rosie touched her lips hesitantly before sighing, knowing exactly what Carter was thinking. She always knew.

"S-so anything to drink?" Rosie asked, trying to act like it never happened. Walking to the fridge, Rosie opened up the cold insilated food holder, trying to blink back the tears before she was forced back to look at her object of love.

Carter hung her head defeatedly, knowing that she was a horrible person for doing that to her friend, her love. "U-um…Pepsi please." Following Rosie's actions, Carter continued the night on like it never happened, their games and fun soon returning before bed welcomed them with open arms.

The two fell into the king sized bed, a huge space between them for safety. Yet soon this safety net was thrown to the floor and they both snuggled up together, their arms wrapped around the other's waist tightly. Never wanting to let go, yet as the sun would rise, another day of lies and hurt would follow.

Not only was Rosie hurting, but now Carter was feeling the pain, getting a taste of what she could have but listening to the world of snobby ideas and being too scared to follow her heart.

Once again, Rosie and Carter were one in the same, going through the same thing. Having fallen hard for their best friends and not being able to do anything about it.

**+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+-+**

So what'd you think of the third person part? Ok? And the kisses? Love you guys!

Reviews make me giggle. Favorites make me smile. Alerts make me warm inside.

Want to make me happy? Then do them! :)


End file.
